what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize