he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
