i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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