You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
