btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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