I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
