Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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