omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
