Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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