Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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