well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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