But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
