Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
