I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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