3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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