Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
