I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
