i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Randomize