I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
