I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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