If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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