hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
