yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
