honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
