Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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