We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My ass is underappreciated
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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