Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
