i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
