i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Randomize
