you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
