Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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