He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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