More tranny stories later!
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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