I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
