I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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