did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
