Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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