the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
