you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We need to feng shui this bitch.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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