i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize