I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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