you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
