We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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