I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
