u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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