Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I had to cum in my sink.
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