i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
