I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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