it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
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