If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
