how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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