And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
