so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Life is so much better after having sex.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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