I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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