I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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