He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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