He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
