I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
In America we eat man semen.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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