I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Randomize
