what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize