"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize