Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
