OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
