I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
