i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
