Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize