The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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