i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
