i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
