I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize