I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
