I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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