Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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