Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
