Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
