Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Your cock deserves a montage
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
