she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
