its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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