what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
